Ladies I need SERIOUS advice Please.? GUYS can you help here?

My husband can act so sweet and charming and nice...but when I apporach him with my feelings he often puts the me down or disregards them, he has cursed at me, yells when angry and has acted out in anger....I have this REALLY bad habit of constaly asking him if he loves me, if he'd rather be with someome else, and asking him if their is anything wrong (such as do you like another girl) etc...but this is because of how he treats me. He says it makes him VERY FRUSRTATED in this realtionship to be asked the same questions EVERYDAY. He says he loves me but how I I just beleive him and stop asking the questions?Ladies I need SERIOUS advice Please.? GUYS can you help here?
If u have to keep asking him the same questions over and over then u probably don't trust him and he's feeling frustrated because he ';thinks'; u should know it by now.





As far as his anger is concerned, it sounds like he has anger management issues and probably needs to take anger management classes.Ladies I need SERIOUS advice Please.? GUYS can you help here?
You have a self esteem issues and he has anger management problems. Ain't nothing gonna work unless you both deal with this and make some changes. Start by working on yourself....go get some counseling. Spend some time away from him...go away with some girlfriends....get some power and control over yourself.
What Kenneth said -- Prozac. Then you won't give a sh*t whether or not he loves you.





BTW, my husband is the same way -- treats me like he hates me, then can't understand why I doubt his love. (???)
first of all you need to realize that even though you think you're worried about how he feels, its really you that is having the hard time loving you! It's your own doubts and insecurity.....get happy and healthy with YOU and be secure in who YOU are. He can tell you yes everyday and you still wouldn't beleive it!!! The fact is, even if you had the most secure marriage in the world, there's still no guarantee it won't change. He could profess undying love and leave your *** the next week.....you need to still be ok with YOU and know you will be ok with or without him.





LOVE YOURSELF - and get the ';Self-Esteem Workbook';!!!! STOP asking him you're driving him away! He's probably got such a short fuse cause you nag him about silly things that he just explodes on you even in minor issues. Guys build resentment too. Lay off, don't whine, stop being needy and clingy - I guarantee when you go to him with a ';REAL'; issue he'll be a different guy. GOOD LUCK
You have a very complicated relationship. He seems verbally abusive...but you seem like you have some serious self esteem issues. I don't know what kind of advice anyone in here can give you. I'd say you need counseling. Him too. Good luck.
I think you both should go to a doctor and get some medication to help your moods, Also ask the doctor for advice, Or what you should do.
OK, this is easy. First, you are insecure about your relationship either because you are an insecure person or because your husband is not behaving in a loving way and giving you a reason to feel loved by him. A man shouldn't have to say ';I love'; you for his wife to know that: his actions will show the love - he will be respectful, romantic (this means listening to his wife when she comes home from work for about 15-minutes - giving his undivided attention) and he will support her, regardless how stupid her ideas may be! That is how a man shows his love for his wife. He should never yell at her or treat her in any disrespectful manner. By the same token, a woman should never nag her husband by asking the same question each and every day - over and over again. News flash!!!!!! If he didn't answer you the first time, assuming he is not hard of hearing, then he is not going to answer you the next twenty times either. Nagging is enough to drive any man or woman crazy.





Leave him alone and stop looking for reassurances. When he raises his voice or treats you disrespectgully, calmly explain to him that you are not going to tolerate that behavior anymore and then walk away from him.





Question: do you love and like yourself? If you do, then love your husband and give him some ';air'; so that he can love you back.
First, I'd stop asking. Remember, actions speak louder than words. If he treats you as though he loves you - he loves you. If he treats you like garbage - he feels you are garbage.





Second, he should never - ever put you down or curse at you. This is unacceptable and you need to tell him this rather than asking him if he loves you.





Third, sounds like you have a low self-esteem. I'd recommend you talk with a counselor or therapist. They will help you get your self-esteem back.
Listen! Before you can do anything with your marriage you need to get yourself in order. Please know that you are worth it, you do deserve to have your feelings and thoughts heard, and your not wrong for having the feelings that your having. You deserve to be respected by your husband, and everyone around you for that matter. Go talk to a professional, seriously...see what you can do about helping to re-discover who you are.....My guess is, that right now your not sure who you are... and the person you see yourself to be is not a good one. No one can change your perception , but there are people who can help guide you to a place where you can gain back some of the power in your life and your marriage. I've been here trust me,do it, go talk to


some one....I'll be praying for you.. :)
prozac
I too vote for marriage counseling, but additionally you need individual counseling for your lack of self esteem. The message you are sending to your husband is you doubt his word, and day after day of you doing this is driving a wedge between you and him.





You have to have serious issues with trust as well. The only way to keep your marriage is to get some serious help and get it fast.
First of all, let me say that although I'm a woman, I'd get sick and tired of someone asking me if I cared about them. I'd think that they were some snivelling insecure neurotic with no self esteem and I'd start to question what I ever saw in them in the first place. You need to get into counseling and stop engaging in negative behaviors.





Second of all, if he acts out in anger, belittles you, curses you and yells, then he's got anger management problems.





Most domestic violence shelters offer free and low cost counseling even if he never hit you but just intimidates you or he's acted inappropriatedly while angry.





GET COUNSELING! And quit asking the same questions every day.
to me you both sound too young to be getting this serious. The do you love me questions come from your lack of experience and confidence in yourself. His anger is from stress and frustration he may not be mentally ready for a long commitment you are not either. I'm betting your both under 28. It's a part of growing up you can work on it together it's HARD to build a marriage it don't just happen. It takes great effort and personal growth. Maybe get some therapy together if you have not already DO NOT ADD KIDS! You toss a kid in this situation every ones stress and unhappiness's increases you ruin another life besides your own.
I think you need to go to marriage counseling to work through the issues both of you have. He should not be treating you this way! Not for any reason!
you might want to consider counseling for yourself for your self esteem. i used to have the same problem. i would think...why does my man want to be with me, when he can be with anyone else? well...the point is, if he wanted to be with someone else, then he'd be with someone else. so take it for what it is...he's with you, the two of you are married now, and if you keep nagging him the way you are, your relationship can't last. all relationships are based on trust and honesty...but obviousely you are not trusting him to be honest when he tells you that there's nobody else and that he loves you.





you need to go and raise YOUR self-esteem. think higher of yourself...for me now, i think...yup, i got my husband on lock...because no other woman can give it to him the way i can...and it's true. for him, there's noone else but me for him and vice versa. we love eachother UNCONDITIONALLY. ( i'm about 25 pounds bigger than what i used to be after the children) but hey....he thinks i'm fabulous and he just cant get enough of me...and i've stopped harrassing him about...are you sure you love me? are you sure i'm the one you want to be with? they'll start to doubt how WE fell about them.
Get some serious counseling. You may also get a copy of the book by Gary Chapman entitled'; The Five Love Languages'; and read it together. You both may need to figure out, which love you both need and want. As Dr. Chapman advises, your ';love tanks'; may be empty of one or more of the languages, and not necessarily the sexual intercourse love language. It's easy reading, and I should have read the men's version twenty-years ago!
A lot of us guys just don't like to show emotion, and when you ask us if they love you sometimes we get irritated because, in our mind, we don't have to tell you that we love you all the time for it to be true; if we tell you once, it's usually still true every other time you ask us. The reason that it seems like some of us are always angry is that ange, frustration, etfc. are the only emotions some of us feel comfortable showing strongly and becasue of that, it stands out the most, even though we do feel other emotions. Also, as you admit, a bad habit to repeatedly ask us because (at least when we're telling the truth) it makes it seem like you want to hear what you want to hear what you believe instead of the truth. Trust is something that has to be earned and if he genuinely hasn't earned your trust yet then that's something the two of you need to sit down together and work out between yourselves because most likely noone else is going to be able to help you with that. That's all the advice I can think of to give you. I hope it helps.
from a guys view, there is nothing wrong with asking if he loves u or the reasons why. he should know that u love him and if he asked u the same u would give him an answer.. i asked my lady one day why she loved me instead of giving me an answer she bit my head off and it hurt
You are human and need reassurance that you are loved and needed. You are not being unreasonable, just human. I don't know you but I love you.